Thank you, R! I think you have out done the Democratic Agenda. I love that Jesus Himself will be leading the closing prayer. Thank you for your wit!

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance to George W. Bush

6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights

6:45 PM Salute to the Project for the New American Century

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on “Are Elections Really Necessary?”

7:30 PM Announcement: Mark Foley Was a Closet Democrat

7:35 PM Trent Lott - “Re-Segregation in the 21st Century”

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It’s What’s for Dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:00 PM Dennis Hastert leads discussion: How to Shirk Responsibility and Get Away with It

9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on “Why Women Shouldn’t Be Leaders”

9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Pat Robertson

10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: How to Commit Perjury and Obstruction of Justice and Get Away with It

10:35 PM George W. Bush demonstration of trademark “deer in headlights” stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 PM GOP’s Tribute to Tokenism, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice and Alberto Gonzales

10:46 PM Ann Coulter’s Tribute “Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot”

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation’s Economy

11:10 PM Dick Cheney leads discussion: How to Shoot People, Cover It Up, and Get Away with It

11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Bill Clinton

11:40 PM Twice-Divorced Newt Gingrich speaks on “The Sanctity of Marriage”

11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 PM Nomination of GW Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

“I need some help with a girlfriend of mine. I have been seeing her for a while and our relationship is mostly sexual. She now wants me to dominate her and even though I have lots of experience it is all from being a bottom not a top. Can you help me with this?”

Well, first of all, I know you very well and I know you are one kinky fucker so dominating her will be more than natural to you even though you may not know it yet.

There is a song by AC/DC called She’s Got Balls and in it the lead singer says “she likes to crawl around on her knees because she wants to please me.” I would let you imagination go wild and turn this woman into your own personal slut who is there to please only you. She’ll love it and it will get her off too.

Tell her she is to wear thigh high stockings, sexy high heels, a mini skirt with no panties underneath and a see through blouse (or whatever you want her to wear). Her make up and hair must be perfect. When she arrives, if you do not approve of any little thing, she is to bend over, spread her legs wide and beg you to punish her for disappointing you. You should smack her pussy, get it nice and wet while you tell her what a dirty little whore she is and then have her lick your hand clean.

She needs to crawl around on the floor to show you how much she wants to please you. She needs to play with her pussy any way you tell her to and beg for your cock. She needs to be treated like a whore while sucking your cock. Grab her hair and pull her into you. Slap her face with your cock. Make her stick her tongue out and lick the pre cum off of your cock.

As far as BDSM play, I am thinking nasty as hell. If she wants to get fucked, she needs to get in the shower, squatting with her legs spread. You piss on her tits and pussy and when you are done, stand there to make sure she washes pussy clean for you.

Tie her ankles and wrists together so her legs stay spread. Slap her pussy with your cock. Bite and pinch her nipples. Her on top of her face and force your cock in her mouth. Make sure those balls are right on her face. She needs to get that cock nice and wet before you fuck her.

While you are fucking her, stop a few times and make her lick that cock clean. I think she needs to lick your ass too. Before you cum, have her hold out her tongue and take your cum. When you are done, she needs to clean you off and then lay on the floor with her legs spread wide waiting for when you are ready for more.

Let your imagination go wild. She’s asking to be dominated because she wants to be “set free” and allowed to be a nasty whore. Use that to your advantage and for the next few days, think about all of the kinky fantasies you have had and what you would like to “force” a woman to do if you could get away with it. The dirtier you are, the more she will enjoy it. Make her beg, make her play with herself; make her do things she would never do. Keep telling her what a whore she is and how you are going to use her for your pleasure. Mix in pleasure with pain: lick her clit and then slap her pussy with your cock or bite her nipples and then finger her pussy.

Good luck! And I want all the details.

“I need some help with a girlfriend of mine. I have been seeing her for a while and our relationship is mostly sexual. She now wants me to dominate her and even though I have lots of experience it is all from being a bottom not a top. Can you help me with this?”

Well, first of all, I know you very well and I know you are one kinky fucker so dominating her will be more than natural to you even though you may not know it yet.

There is a song by AC/DC called She’s Got Balls and in it the lead singer says “she likes to crawl around on her knees because she wants to please me.” I would let you imagination go wild and turn this woman into your own personal slut who is there to please only you. She’ll love it and it will get her off too.

Tell her she is to wear thigh high stockings, sexy high heels, a mini skirt with no panties underneath and a see through blouse (or whatever you want her to wear). Her make up and hair must be perfect. When she arrives, if you do not approve of any little thing, she is to bend over, spread her legs wide and beg you to punish her for disappointing you. You should smack her pussy, get it nice and wet while you tell her what a dirty little whore she is and then have her lick your hand clean.

She needs to crawl around on the floor to show you how much she wants to please you. She needs to play with her pussy any way you tell her to and beg for your cock. She needs to be treated like a whore while sucking your cock. Grab her hair and pull her into you. Slap her face with your cock. Make her stick her tongue out and lick the pre cum off of your cock.

As far as BDSM play, I am thinking nasty as hell. If she wants to get fucked, she needs to get in the shower, squatting with her legs spread. You piss on her tits and pussy and when you are done, stand there to make sure she washes pussy clean for you.

Tie her ankles and wrists together so her legs stay spread. Slap her pussy with your cock. Bite and pinch her nipples. Her on top of her face and force your cock in her mouth. Make sure those balls are right on her face. She needs to get that cock nice and wet before you fuck her.

While you are fucking her, stop a few times and make her lick that cock clean. I think she needs to lick your ass too. Before you cum, have her hold out her tongue and take your cum. When you are done, she needs to clean you off and then lay on the floor with her legs spread wide waiting for when you are ready for more.

Let your imagination go wild. She’s asking to be dominated because she wants to be “set free” and allowed to be a nasty whore. Use that to your advantage and for the next few days, think about all of the kinky fantasies you have had and what you would like to “force” a woman to do if you could get away with it. The dirtier you are, the more she will enjoy it. Make her beg, make her play with herself; make her do things she would never do. Keep telling her what a whore she is and how you are going to use her for your pleasure. Mix in pleasure with pain: lick her clit and then slap her pussy with your cock or bite her nipples and then finger her pussy.

Good luck! And I want all the details.

One of my Republican friends just sent this to me. I am going with him to the polls in 2008 and I am going to force him to vote for Hillary. That would be the worst kind of torture for him!

Uh oh! I forgot that Crazy Dick is a liberal Dick. I have a feeling he is going to be upset when he sees the posting below. Poor Dick! Don’t cry like a liberal, Dick.

Anyone who comes up with a witty 2008 Republican Convention Agenda, I will gladly post it above the Democratic one. Someone out there come up with a good one. Surely I have fans who have “F the President” bumper stickers and would love to give the finger to the Republican Party by posting on my journal. So keep the Mistress amused and send something to me.   

JUST RELEASED:

       2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda

       7:00 pm        Opening flag burning

       7:15 pm        Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.

       7:20 pm        Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

       7:25 pm        Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

       7:45 pm        Ceremonial tree hugging

       9.00 pm          Memorial service for Saddam and his sons – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

       10:00 pm        “Answering Machine Etiquette” - Alec Baldwin

       11:05 pm       Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand

       11:50 pm       How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean

       12:15 am      “Truth in Broadcasting Award” - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

       12:25 am      Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

Do you see it now??? This message is for you, R. I worked your ass over the last few sessions and I’ll keep working your bitch ass over. Sorry about your hall pass. I guess that’s what happens to dirty boys like you. I’ll just have to find another slut to keep me Occupied. Crazy Dick, are you free this weekend? Too bad for you, R. Or maybe I’ll just find a boy toy to have some fun with. Whatever I do, I won’t be thinking of you! But your ass will be mine soon and this time, just because you wasted my TIME looking for the fucking blog, I will make you cry like the little bitch you try so hard pretending you are not. We both know you are my bitch and that tough guy act is getting old. So bend over and say hello to Daddy Rikka and her 10 inch….

xoxo,
Rikka

Do you see it now??? This message is for you, R. I worked your ass over the last few sessions and I’ll keep working your bitch ass over. Sorry about your hall pass. I guess that’s what happens to dirty boys like you. I’ll just have to find another slut to keep me Occupied. Crazy Dick, are you free this weekend? Too bad for you, R. Or maybe I’ll just find a boy toy to have some fun with. Whatever I do, I won’t be thinking of you! But your ass will be mine soon and this time, just because you wasted my TIME looking for the fucking blog, I will make you cry like the little bitch you try so hard pretending you are not. We both know you are my bitch and that tough guy act is getting old. So bend over and say hello to Daddy Rikka and her 10 inch….

xoxo,
Rikka

So Julia surprised the little cheater by showing up after he arrived. He whined and complained about how mean we both were and how he didn’t think it was nice of me to tell Julia. Bent over on the spanking bench with his face in Julia’s beautiful ass put an end to his worthless complaints. The only problem is this: Julia and I planned on punishing the cheater. I spanked him while he worshiped and massaged Julia and vice versa. He left with a red swollen ass, but I suspect he didn’t feel as if he had been punished at all. Julia and I will get him next time. When we meet again, Julia and I will tie him up and get ourselves off while he helplessly watches. That would be punishment for a horny cheater like him.

One of my friends called me depressed today. I find that the best way to help a friend in need is to go to a strip bar for lap dances. So off we go to Folley’s for a cold beer and hot ass. Unfortunately, it was me that ended up getting the hot ass while my friend watched. Well, he did get 3 or 4 dances of his own, but I got the hot action with a beautiful dark haired woman.

And by the way Crazy Dick, you may not get lap dances in clubs like the one I gave you, but I do! Grinding her ass against me, she slyly slid her hand up my skirt. Let’s just say it was a happy ending for the Mistress today. Sorry you boys don’t get that kind of attention. I think the two of us put on quite a show considering the man sitting next to us asked his dancer to get out of the way so he could watch. And I had a chance to show off some of my new skills and give a private dance to my new friend Nicole.

So if any of you need cheering up, please let me know!